I've performed the solo as a solo three times now. Deborah does such an amazing job of, among other things, easing us into what it will be like for the next few months of practicing. We will not be in beautiful Findhorn, we will not have the group - "the lab" - to inspire and support us, we will have all the responsibilities and inspirations and fatigue and dimensions of the rest of our lives. And chiefly we will have ourselves - alone - in a studio/apartment/park/abandoned parking lot/etc and the choreography and the questions.
I had a big "aha!" today, which manifested itself variously in the forms of joy and freedom and a feeling that I'd figured something out, only to discover, of course, that I hadn't and was boring myself and was working so hard at seeing that I could barely see what I was doing at all.
This paradox a good thing, I think.
It was a day of frustration and exhaustion for many, concluded with an absolutely transcendent and hilarious performance by one member of our group. She couldn't escape her own critical eye, but she really shifted the cloud - a beautiful, billowing, magnificent cloud, but a cloud nonetheless - that had descended upon me.
Last night we went for a walk through the dunes and onto the beach. Karl, an utterly lovely man whose organization Bodysurf coordinates our work here, showed us an area that had been essentially an Ice Age landfill/garbage dump. It's also the spot where local youth presently go to party and so it's littered anew with bits of broken beer bottles. Of course, many are saddened by the debris, but others hold the view that it's simply a continuation of a human utilization of the land that began 12,000 years ago.
The sand felt like marbles ground and melted into a cool, dense foam. Sensational experience to walk in it. I went for a dip in the glorious ocean as well - very refreshing (and made the subsequent hot tub soak that much more enjoyable).
We went to one of the pubs in the village of Findhorn for some tasty food and I sampled the local whisky, Benromach (a single malt made in Forres). It was mild and smooth.
I'm meeting with my Dutch and Luxembourgish (?) cohorts this evening to sing for a while before we surrender to the temptation of the hot tub once more.
I have more to say about the work with Deborah, but it'll have to wait!