Monday, September 15, 2008

I am river

"I am river" - that's what it says on the front of the card I bought from The Phoenix Shop at the Findhorn community ecopark.

I've been meaning to excerpt parts of a letter to my friend I wrote inside the card for over a week now, but I just haven't spent enough time in front of the computer to do so.

I am soon to depart for New York - 6:30 pm flight from Heathrow - and before I do, I'll take a moment to type some of the contents of the letter into my blog.

I wrote it on September 6 on the train from Forres to Kyle of Lochalsh.


My train has just pulled into Strathcarron Station and "Third Self-Portrait Series" from Music for Egon Schiele (an album by the fantastic Rachel's) has just come on my iPod. When I look up from this card I see something close to perfection. Sheep. Shrubs. Pine trees. Rock face. Little pools of clear water. Adorable country houses. No, it is perfection. It's the real deal.

Sitting on the table next to the Lonely Planet guide I borrowed from my friend and dancing cohort Rebecca is Deborah Hay's MY BODY THE BUDDHIST.

I want to share some of the questions that are - from Deborah - shaping (or maybe "unshaping") my dancing right now. But first! Just to let you know, Stephin Merritt and his ukulele have taken over since I started writing, then passed the musical torch to Rhianna, and now, in hardly any time at all, "Water From the Same Source" has taken command and I'm less than 100 feet away from a beautiful loch or river.

WHAT IF "What if where I am is what I need" is not an examination of what I need but an examination of the question "What if where I am is what I need?" What if less is more not less?

WHAT IF my choice to surrender the pattern of fixing on a singularly coherent idea, feeling, or object when I am dancing is a way of remembering to see where I am in order to surrender where I am?

with love from the Scottish Highlands,

I am river.
I see the sea
as I flow
and know
to where
my heart belongs

(a card picturing the River Findhorn)


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